Zeromus Busters!
by NotUsedAnymorelolololololo
Summary: FFIV: A spiffy, yet tasteless parody that makes little to no sense, but tells the story anyway. Rated for crude humour, cruel humour, and any other 'cru' humour available. R&R or I'll send the Red Wings!
1. The story, such as it is, begins!

Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy. 

Warning: This story is not serious. For you people who can't have fun, GET OUT!

Disclaimer: Anything in this fiction I say is mine, belongs to me. Everything else belongs to whoever owns them. FF4 belongs to Square. And anything here is supposed to be funny. Hopefully, I made that clear enough in my opening statement.

Anyway, this is my first 'flagship fiction.' Enjoy! Since it's summer, I can update a lot more! Yee!  
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There's something evil.  
On the moon.  
Who ya gonna call?  
ZEROMUS BUSTERS!

The Red Wings were in the air now. Because this opening is boring, I'm just gonna skip it and say that Cecil hated killing innocent people, and got fired for it.

Cecil was sad. Very, very sad. It was bad. Very, very bad.

Cecil said: "This is bad, isn't it, Kyne?"

Kain replied: "What's bad, Cecil? And for the last time, it's KAIN. Not Kyne."

"Er, nothing!" Cecil never liked to talk about his job and such. In fact, he never wanted people to know about him. So he covered his face.

Cecil stares into space.

I said he covered his face. (Pokes Cecil several times for good measure.)

Cecil, realizing that he was poked several times, managed to cover his face and yell: "Don't look at me!" Loudly for good measure.

Eventually, Cecil was sent to his room, as he couldn't do anything else. He ended up getting lost on the way.

"Oh, no!" Cecil cried. "I got lost on the way! Oh, cruel world! Why must I suffer through all of this torture?"

"It's right in front of ya, you dolt!" yelled a voice from the higher areas of Castle Baron.

Cecil screamed and ran away, crossing water while he was at it. When he finally returned to the castle, breaking the part of the castle Cid was on, Cid finally told Cecil about a bunch of stuff, in which I found so boring I decided not to write it. Cecil then entered whatever part of the castle was his. He met up with the handmaiden near the stairs.

"Sir, I've changed your sheets. Please, for the love of the moon, do NOT mistake that tree by the window for the Bogeyman again. It took me days to get that stool out of the sheets."

"The Bogeyman is back? YAAAAARRRGH!"

Cecil then ran away again, crossing the ocean, and bursting into the castle once more, causing more than the royal budget for repairs.

"sigh Goodnight, sir."

"Goodnight, yon filthy wench! Wait, that didn't sound right. Why did I say that, Almighty Author?"

BECAUSE I TYPED IT OUT, FILTHY ORAKIAN!

"But, I'm a human. Not one of these 'Orakians.'"

SHUT UP! GO TO BED! I HAVE TO APPEAR ON A TORTILLA IN MEXICO, SO G'NIGHT!

Cecil returned to his bedchambers, and started to ponder in his sleep.

"Hmm. Why did I kill those innocent people? Who were they? Who am I?"

The door to Cecil's room opened.

"OH NO! BLOODY BEEFCAKE! IT'S A STALKER! OR THE BOGEYMAN! CALL THE COPS! YAAAAARRRGH!"

Cecil used his bed as a toilet again.

Handmaiden: sigh

Rosa came out of the door.

"Cecil, it's me. Rosa. Along with my twin, Sora"  
"Geez, this stinks in here. How do you deal with this man, sultry"  
"Shut up"  
"No, you shut up!"

The argument continued until the wee hours of the morning, keeping everyone awake, especially for Kain, who was busy making a plan to build a base in the Mistian cave they were somehow sent to yet I forgot to write about making you all go 'Huh'?. Yeah. That plan.

Cecil finally got up the courage to say something. "Uh, this script says that my line is 'Diaper Biscuits'."

OH, SORRY.

I switched the script that Cecil had with the one about this story. Then, Cecil finally got up the courage to say something. "Rosa, weren't you gonna tell me not to be a coward and a bunch of other crazy stuff about how worried about me you were, etc, etc, etc."

Rosa responded, "Oh, you just said all that. Thanks for making my talking load lower. Bye, milove."

"Yeah. Bye, my smelly, twisted love."

"Shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

Cecil felt bad now, since if Rosa really loved him, both sides would agree somehow. I/The Almighty Author tried to comfort him.

DON'T WORRY, CECIL. AT THE VERY LEAST, YOU COULD SERVICE… NOBODY! BWAHAHAHA!

Cecil looked hurt.

GOODNIGHT, CECIL. IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, I FEEL BETTER ALREADY. AFTER ALL, FEEDING OFF OF PEOPLE'S MISERY IS MY JOB, YOU KNOW.

"Kay!"

The next day, Cecil and Kain left for the Mist Cave. After they killed a copius amount of Golbins, Helldivers and Floating Eyes, (Actually, Kain killed most of them. Cecil just sat in the corner and cried.) they reached the Mist Cave. Kain: Level 99, Cecil: Level 5. (If you must know, Cecil stayed away from battle for so long, his level actually DECREASED. Yes, that is possible, as this is my story.) Soon, they made it into the Mistian Cave. Did I already say that? Ah, sorry.

So Cecil and Kain went through a whole lot of boring stuff. Mostly Cecil worrying incessantly about the "mysterious voice" that hovered around within.

"Shut up!" Kain yelled. "That was my line! Remember?"

* * *

And then a flashback occurred.

Kain was telling Cecil a ghost story.

"And then, the mysterious voice told the dark knight to stay away from Mist, but he continued on. Ya wanna know what happened next…?"

"…Yes? What happened to that dark knight which happens to be not me…?"

"He… GOT HIM!"

"YAAAAAARRRGH! BOGEYMAN!"

Cecil used his armour as a toilet.

Handmaiden: sigh

FLASHBACK OVER.

* * *

OK, where did we leave off before that unnecessarily graphic and disgusting flashback? Ah, yes. The voice. Anyway, the voice yelled in a booming tone, "WHO DARETH WALKETH THISETH CAVE…ETH?"

Cecil replied, mustering all of his available courage, "Uh… we have to get this Bomb Ring. To Mist. Please don't eat us."

"EAT YOU? HAHAHAHAHA! PEOPLE ARE FAR TOO SMELLY TO EAT!"

"Smelly? How dare you! And you're not Rosa, or Kyne…"

Kain interrupted, "Kain. It's Kain."

"Sorry, Kyne. Well, you're not Rosa, Kyne, or anyone else on this planet, so die! HYRAH!"

"SKYAAH!"

* * *

Dun Dun DUUUUN! We've left a cliffhanger! Who will win this epic battle of brawn? What exactly IS Kain planning? Who out of random people in the world will be included for an in-joke for no-one else but the author and his friends? Will Cid ever find true love? At least one of the answers is coming… right now.  
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* * *

"You mean I win?" Cecil asked imploringly. "WOOHOO!"

WELL, YOU HAVE TO WIN. IT SAYS IN MY DICTATOR GUIDE THAT YOU HAVE TO WIN. OTHERWISE THE STORY WILL HAVE NO POINT."

"Really? Trippin'."

* * *

In the chapters to come:  
-Kain disappears!  
-Cecil and the girl get aquainted, and we all have a laughing fit over when she introduces herself!  
-We meet a strange old guy, who seems remarkably familiar to a Professor that Matt Groening made up! In personality, that is.  
-Yaoi bishonens galore! And today's one plays an instrument!  
-Rosa girl are sick!  
-Rosa girl get better!  
-We meet a karate man who likes… stwawbawwies!  
-And I should end it here before too much is revealed! Stay tuned for the next installment of: 

ZEROMUS BUSTERS!


	2. Let's laugh at something unfunny!

Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy. 

Chapter 2: I AM RYDIA! (snicker.)

Disclaimer: FF4 belongs to Squaresoft, yadda, yadda, yadda, brief legal speech, yea, Requiem Terra Pax, and so on and so forth.

Warning: This chapter has suggestive themes. If you know the story, but hate the themes, skip the chapter, if possible. If you likey, read onkey.

This chapter shall be dedicated to Paige. My only reviewer for the story thus-so-far. Hah.  
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* * *

IN OUR LASTEST CHAPTER OF ZEROMUS BUSTERS…

Cecil and Kain were introduced!  
Rosa and Cid were partially introduced!  
I argued with Cecil!  
Cecil and Kain killed a Dragon!  
I stayed up late to write it and therefore woke up at 2 o clock! Yay!

Now, without further stalling for time, the story shall continue!  
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* * *

Cecil and Kain killed a Dragon made of Mist. Or rather, Cecil killed it, due to blunt and painful insults. Now, Cecil and Kain are walking to 'that village over there. That's Mist. Oh.'

Now, Cecil and Kain made their way to the village now. Now, for strictly comedic and sadistic purposes, I'm going to have the background song be, 'Everybody Walk The Dinosaur.' You know. The song from that crummy Mario movie. Yeah, that song.

Now, with annoying music to set the mood, our 'heroes they ain't' heroes start to finally talk of stuff.

Cecil said as he entered the village, "Hmmm. Maybe the author could come up with a better word to describe what we're saying, but I digress. Let's lift that Bomb Ring to the air to see what happens!"

Kain added, quite happily, "Yeah! Explosions! WHEE!"

The duo lifted the Bomb Ring to the skies, and it sent a whole buncha Bombs to kill the villagers and every single last building in the village. That's when we hear the very, very, loud and catonic voice of a certain young girl taken straight out of a Lolicon hentai doujinshi magazine, which happens to be very dirty and perverted, as I ripped it straight out of the Developer's Room.

"OH NO! THE BUILDING!"

"Open the door, get on the floor!"

The Dark Knight and his fellow Dragoon turned round to see a loud, catonic green-haired, sweaty, half-naked, full-lipped girl yelling out random stuff near a corpse.

(Hey, the developers made me say that. For 50 sweet dollars. )

"ME! GEDAP!"

The dumb-but-dynamic duo reached the area where the girl was.

"Hey! Do you need help?" Cecil asked the girl. Because if she didn't get any help, she would more than likely be assaulted by those programmers hiding in the bushes.

"TREES! HIDE! BUSHES! VIOLATION!"

"Everybody walk the Dinosaur!"

The developers, finding the catonic girl is also psychic, ran away to Mysidia. Mostly because that's where they can get their weekly dose of their favourite mage-smut, Girls of Mysidia.

Now, to talk less on the staff's sexlife, and more on the actual story, Kain asked the girl again. "What happened?"

"YOU KILLED MY BUILDING'S SUNDAY?"

Cecil had to interrupt. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I understand what you're saying completely. We're sorry your building's Sunday died"

"WHAT?"

"Here's an ice cream."

Then Cecil whispered in a low voice, "Kain, let's go behind that house."

Kain and Cecil hid behind 'that house. That's a store. Oh.'

* * *

Now, Cecil and Kain are having a secret conversation. First line is Cecil, next is Kain, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. (A la the King of Siam.) 

"Kain, our land is evil! It made us kill! I don't wanna kill! I just wanna live a cozy life as a country bumpkin and not pay taxes! Is that so much to ask?"

"Well, for once in my life, I agree with you, Ceese. Baron city is evil."

"Why?"

"Because, only I can be really evil."

"Oh. Okay then. Wait, did you say evil? Where is it?"

Then the duo put on a pair of dungarees/overalls each, did a tap dance, and went back to the girl.  
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* * *

Kain commanded the girl to go with them, as then, he would have an extra slave/consort. Err, I mean bride, for you Kain/Rydia fans, like me. Although I tend to prefer the slave/consort thing. I'm a vouyeurist, you see. (Heehee, lolibondage. Hee hee! Funny word!)

"Let's bounce"

"NAH!"

"LET'S US BUNCE!"

"NAH! GO AWAY! I AM EGON SPRINKLES! AND EGON SHALL HATE YOU!"

* * *

So, Rydia killed both people with Titan Attack. Kain was whisked away, and it made him sad, because he actually found real love, and he lost it. Cecil, however, was doomed to hang around the loud, catonic, psychic weirdo. That made 2 idiots ready to save the world. Chances are that odds are slim we're all gonna live.

"Hmm. I'm awake now. As a Dark Knight, it is my duty to… PILLAGE, LOOT, AND RAPE! But then again, I don't like to pillage. Or rape, for that matter. Or looting, either. Well, better not let that corpse go to waste!"

Cecil then picked up the unconscious Rydia, no doubt with sick, twisted things planned. Since Rosa wasn't here, and the girl couldn't tell what would happen, now we say our line.

"What could possibly go wrong?"

However, I'm not in the mood for writing rape lemons, and this fiction is rated T, after all, so we'll just have to settle for the duo staying at 'that desert village over there's Inn. In separate beds, mind you.

OK, I think the suggestive humour will stop now. If only I can control it, and the developers don't catch me, I'll be good to go.

* * *

So, the guards from Baron somehow made their way to the Inn, and since Rydia was the perfect target for the (you should know the rest.), Cecil had to intervine. So with the strange girl watching, Cecil killed the three soldiers, and the general ran away like a little girl! AH-HA-HA-HA!

For you see, during the time Cecil killed the Dragon, his inner courage rose up, thus, allowing him to have… CONTINENCE! (Trumpet fan-fa-ray.)

The Girl asked, in of course, a loud voice, "YA GAANA TECT ME OR SECT ME!"

Cecil replied, "Tect yee."

The girl was hesitant for a little while, due to a mistake on the game's part. She finally said, for little reason at all,

"I'm Rydia."

Everybody here burst out laughing for no apparent reason.

Cecil then added in, on a quick impulse,

"Quick! Hide in the blankets! Don't look at us!"

Though Cecil has continence, he still prefers privacy 24 to 7.

* * *

The twosome woke up, and set forth on their journey, buying a Leather Cap and an Iron Ring, as Rydia foretold, "THERE BE SOME CRUMMY OLD GUY JOINING US LATER!"

Cecil and Rydia made their way to 'that cave over there. TAT UNDRGRUND WATWAY! Oh.'

Ah, finally, Cecil has a straight man, or rather, a straight woman, to deal with his lack of sense of direction.  
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* * *

And now, I shall celebrate with some Cossack dancing from my pal, Mr. Ex-President. He dances quite well to get in shape. Now, to celebrate.

FREEDOM, FREEDOM, FREEDOM, OI!  
FREEDOM, FREEDOM, FREEDOM, OI!  
FREEDOM, FREEDOM, FREEDOM, OI!  
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* * *

The next chapter shall occur, as soon as the author gets out of his mental instituition.

Coming Soon: Chapter 3: The Professor and the Ustvestia wannabe!

Easter Egg: Note the Phantasy Star references here and there. Alis will love that. Yesh.


	3. Gays and Dotages

Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy. 

Chapter 3: The Professor and the Ustvestia Wannabe.

(NOTE: Just in case you don't know who Ustvestia is, he's a gay musician in Phantasy Star 2. Just so you know.)

Disclaimer: FF4 belongs to Square. It's not mine. If I break this rule, may Roc Babies strike my house, Imps steal my computer, and Desert Sahagins raid my fridge. Also, no franchises mentioned in the story whatsoever belong to me. Only if I say they're mine.

This Chapter is dedicated to PRIVATE. Who put this fic on his/her favourites list.

Anyway, it may take longer than normal for the chapters now, as I have a life and Brain Age to deal with, so be patient for future arrivals. The ficcy is not sentenced to end soon, it will only end either when it reaches the end, or I get bored. Whichever comes first.  
-

* * *

Previously, on ZEROMUS BUSTERS…

Cecil, in his mad quest to finish the story, finds a strange girl, who everyone in the land is distinctly drawn to. The duo killed some of King Baron's soldiers, and we all laughed at the girl's silly intro. Now that Cecil and Rydia have bought an Iron Ring and a Leather Cap for the crummy old guy who's joining them shortly, our adventure, as saccharine and asnine as it is, shall go on! In today's episode, or ZEROMUS BUSTERS… ZEE!

(Title of chapter shows up)  
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* * *

Anyway, Cecil and Rydia were on their way to the undergrund watway. For lack of action between then, and when they meet Mr. Crummy Old Guy,

Then, Tellah, the Crummy Old Guy butted into my speech. "Who are you calling crummy?" Tellah said in an angry voice.

"Well, you're the only old person around, and besides, Rydia first called you that."

Tellah took a moment to think it over. "Well, good enough." And he went back to where he was at the cave. A few seconds later, he met up with Rydia and Cecil.

"Hello, Mavis!"

C and R wasn't quite sure what he meant, so they took the only course of action available. By making a shameless reference to Futurama by saying, "Mavis is dead."

Of course, Tellah countered by saying, "My wha..? And can you help me stop my daughter's attempt in finding love?"

Cecil, having nothing better to do, and besides, since he has 5 minutes, "Sure, why not."

So, for the next several minutes until the next story related junk comes, I'm just gonna play Atlantis No Nazo, lose all my lives, and sing its praises.

"You're not gonna do that, aren't cha?" Cecil said, as he interrupted my playage and made Jim the explorer die.

Oh, right. I then put the music from Ghosts and Goblins on, as it's our guest background music. Just like 'Everybody Walk the Dinosaur' was. So while imagining our heroes' feats, imagine that theme music, will ya? If not, try Scooby-Doo, or something similar.

Now, with this 'described fiction' technology, here's what happens. The three are running in the cave's graveyard, (But how can a cave have a graveyard?) but Rydia is carried away by a Gargoyle, or Red Arremer, if you will.

* * *

Our heroes, with no choice on the matter, run after the Red Arremer, but he is too fast. A Magician, dressed as a Mind Flayer (Yes, Mind Flayers aren't until Magnetic Cave, bear with me.) and he casts an age spell, only Tellah blocks it and is unaffected. However, a second beam turns Cecil into a duck. Tellah, now carrying the Cecil-duck, keeps on running, where he finally runs into the Red Arremer, who drops Rydia. Tellah hurls a few Spears at it, but a Green Arremer runs over and kidnaps Rydia again. The chase continues until Cecil finally turns to normal, runs through the cave, and back to the monster. Note the big gaping holes in the wall.

You know, you all probably know where this is going, only this 'described fiction' is a heck of a lot more stupid. To cut to the chase, Cecil and Tellah killed 7 Arremers from the rainbow, and rescued Rydia as a result.

* * *

Doing this, however, caused a bit of a glitch that allowed Cecil to equip lances. Since there are no lances encountered so far, there's really no point in me mentioning this, but it is an obscenely important part of the story. I'll tell you why later.

So, in that case, with some crazy junk obtained from the cave, like this "Ice Rod", and that "Shadow Blade", the team was ready to face off against an evil creature that Tellah suspiciously knew a bit too much about.

The Team ™ pitched their Tent before they entered that "Other piece of the cave." Rydia was asleep, probably from shouting all day, and Tellah and Cecil were in conversation.

* * *

"Well, what's there to talk about?" Cecil asked because I made him. If he didn't talk, that would be more than a little awkward.

"Hmmm. Based on what I've heard, the Octomammoth can be killed by thunder, but no one has ever been alive to prove this theory… Although I've seen his weakness a few times…" Tellah replied.

"But you said no one who faced him came back alive."

"You mean I'm dead? Oh, Lordy-loo, it's happened again. AWRRH!"

And so thus Tellah continued his horrid scream rampage while Cecil sat, Rydia slept, and I simply thought of ideas for the developer's room.

That was a short conversation.

* * *

Anywho, the trio went through the other parts of the cave, and got wet, due to an unfortunate accident in hindsight. It seemed we had forgotten that there was a deadly waterfall in the cave, and the stunt doubles were seriously injured. The one for Cecil even died. Which is odd, as the waterfall wasn't deadly before. Maybe I only remembered it when it was a few million years younger, but I digress.

Now, since the miniscule area between the entrance and the boss is too short and boring to write about. (Yes, I know I'm skipping a lot of story, bear with me.) So, let's fast-forward to when the Magnificent Three face off. In aboouuuutttt……… now.

* * *

Octomammoth, the unholy fusion of an Octo and a Mammoth was dead ahead of the group. Or rather, his arms.

The threesome moved forth ever so slightly.

"O.K. If we want to get past that slimy decapod, we need to slip past him right near that secret passage in the wall…"

To which Cecil replied, "Well, that thing is blocking the exit. Completely."

To which Rydia added, "OH NOES! WE NEVRR GETS OUT LIVING!"

The Octomammoth, perking up to the reply of the legendary Girl Whom Every Living Freak is Drawn To, got up, and rushed to'rds the party! Dun dun duuuun!

"Look out!" Tellah said, as that's one of the few lines intact in this story, as well as 'You Spoony Bard' and 'Hem!' because those are some of the funniest lines in FF4 Advance, which is what I play, and, what type of FF4 spoof would be complete without them?

Battle scene Nao!  
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* * *

Cecil, Rydia and Tellah stand on one side of this arena, while Octomammoth stood on the other side. They merely move in a very Pokemon-Stadiumish manner.

Cecil used Attack! Octomammoth is down by 2,350 Hit Points! Octomammoth has no remaining HP left! Octomammoth had to pay 400 gil!

Octomammoth whited out!  
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* * *

Octomammoth did some creepy crustacean noises while descending into the fiery hellish waters which it came from.

After a strange pause that was in the game script, Tellah finally busted out, "Come! Damcyan is just beyond this way!" while fanfare music happened.

The trio went over to Damcyan Castle, but at the last minute, Ga-Boosh! An explosion happened! The group, worried about survivors, went into the castle, searched for survivors, and went to the castle's top. And guess who they found there…?

No, it's not Anna. Remember, this story is different, and besides, I'm keeping Anna for myself. ;)

So, in a lame, blatant Futurama reference, where Tellah can get off another Farnsworth quote, I replaced Anna with Gunther, except he's now human and yaoi.

"Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs"  
Tellah yelled out into the sky of Damcyan, since the roof was boomed off.

"Be quiet, old man! I'm like, trying to comfort myself here! Sheesh!" came a nasal, haughty, male but distinctly feminine voice.

Tellah stared at whoever complained at him. He was a young man, blonde, red-clothed, and bishonen.

"You! You're that bard! Anna ran away because of your treachery!"

"Your child's name is Gunther." the Almighty Author (whom ladies like to worship) corrected.

"He is?"

"OK, OK. Enough with the frequent errors, just kill that stupid male Britney Spears wannabe."

With that, Tellah rushed over to the bard, attempting to put him out of commision.

* * *

"You swindler!"

"Ouch! What are you doing?"

"You spoony bard!" (Of course that had to be in.)

"Watch what you're doing, old man!"

"… Shut up."

"Keep this up, and I swear…"

"Shut your mouth!"

"No. No I won't!"

With that, Gunther's voice rang up. "Sage! Stop!"

* * *

Tellah went over to Gunther's side. "Oh, thank goodness my best experiment's okay. How are you, pal?"

"Sage, I am sorry, but all my life, I only wanted to be a gay guy who wears a suit. So that's why I transferred to Edward's residence in Damcyan."

"Noooooo! Wait, did you two spoon?"

"Every night, and every morning."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I'm sorry, sage, but that was what I wanted. And Edward, before I die, I want you to pleasure me one more time."

Edward responded, "It would be an honour, my love. Everyone, get out of the room. We need privacy."

"OK, OK, OK."

And that happened. Since I'm not in that mood today, I'm not going to describe even bits of what happened. I'll just leave that to your imagination.

When the three returned, or rather two, as Tellah was dead-set on avenging Gunther, and didn't want to see his experiment not with women, decided to leave. Cecil and Rydia returned to the room, seeing Edward crying over a corpse of Gunther. There may have been odious white liquid around them.

Rydia went to comfort the crying bard. "It's okay, I've been through as much as you have." said Rydia, in one of her very few sensitive, quiet, nonsensical moments.

"Really?"

"Yeah. My building's Sunday died, but I'm not gonna cry over it anymore."

"Rydia…" said an awestruck Cecil.

"No! I want to keep around Gunther forever! Even if I go, he goes with me!"

Cecil saw his moment to intervine. He went over to Edward, and slapped him. Hard.  
"That's enough! You're the ruler of Damcyan, for crying out loud! Start acting like one!"

Edward got a good look at Cecil's face. In it, he saw a possible vision of Gunther. "Hmm. You're right. Would you like a music lesson?"

"Sure. I love music."

"Okay, when we set up tents, come to my tent around, oh say, 10 o' clock, and uh… we'll take it from there"  
"Okay." said the ever gullible Cecil.

"SIGH!" boomed Rydia.

"Let them be on their way."

The same fanfare happened.

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* * *

Thank you all so much for the beaming reviews, everybody! And always remember, Winners Don't Use Drugs!

Today's chappie is extla long 2day! Maybe it will also be long in the next installments! Nao rememba, this took 3 hours or so of dedication, so be praoud of me! ME! MEE! MEEE! MEEEE!


	4. Humouresque of a little Bard

Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy. 

Chapter 4: The Ants go marching one by one. What's to cheer about?

And just as we were about to start our story, Cecil had to come in and give a disclaimer.

And he said,

"Are you still reading this? Man, most people would have flamed by chapter 3, eh? Anydangway, Final Fantasy 4 belongs to not our team of developers. They belong to Square's team of developers. Also, any in-jokes sources belong top whoever owns them. There are a lot, so since we're lazy, whoever came up with a lot of the jokes are whoever owns them. Kapish? Okay then."

This Chapter shall be dedicated to Frieda Right. By far our most patient reviewer, who has had to deal with our atrocity, perversity, and staunch Kain and Rydia support. We're even lucky she's still reading us!

Quote: "You lucked out this time, bucko…"

For that, we've consulted our team of underpaid, malnourished developers, and tried to come up with some sorta "Thanx for bein patent" award. And for you normal readers, well, we just wanted a gag.  
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* * *

Our first developer suggested, "I have 3 dollars in change. Take it or leave it."

* * *

Our second one suggested, "How about one of those wax puppets from that J-Horror movie? You know, the one that Famicom game was about?"

"Suito Homu?"

"Yeah."

Darn otakus.

* * *

The third developer suggested, "How about cookies?"

"No, too overdone. We need something along the lines of unique."

And then I thought of an idea. An idea that probably could work.

* * *

"Yo, PRIVATE. I'm borrowing the Game Genie for a second, okay?"

Hopefully, PRIVATE said that it was okay, since PRIVATE liked my writing.

So, with that, I used "The Cloning Device." And cloned 3 more Cecil-igos. Plus, I made that ROM hack with the party renamed to Earthbound characters and using only Palom, Rosa, Tellah, Yang, and a pig! Sweet.

So ultimately, that means you are obtaining 3 Cecil-igos! (plus shipping and handling) Yay! Oh, and '3 dollars in change. Take it or leave it.' The puppets were too far away to even get our filthy paws on. And the ROM hack's in our studio. Which is far-off, and barely exists.

And with that, I leave a parting word from Professor Ryuta Kawashima, the floating head from Brain Age.

"Look around and count all the numbers that you can see,  
Then add, subtract, multiply, and divide them until you get an answer of one.  
Performing simple arithmetic really wakes up your brain."

And now, without further butt-kissing, we shall commence my writings!  
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* * *

Previously, on Zeromus Busters Zee…

"Hello, Mavis!"

C and R wasn't quite sure what he meant, so they took the only course of action available. By making a shameless reference to Futurama by saying, "Mavis is dead."

* * *

You know, you all probably know where this is going, only this 'described fiction' is a heck of a lot more stupid. To cut to the chase, Cecil and Tellah killed 7 Arremers from the rainbow, and rescued Rydia as a result.

* * *

"Hmmm. Based on what I've heard, the Octomammoth can be killed by thunder, but no one has ever been alive to prove this theory… Although I've seen his weakness a few times…" Tellah replied.

* * *

Cecil, Rydia and Tellah stand on one side of this arena, while Octomammoth stood on the other side. They merely move in a very Pokemon-Stadiumish manner.

Cecil used Attack! Octomammoth is down by 2,350 Hit Points! Octomammoth has no remaining HP left! Octomammoth had to pay 400 gil!

Octomammoth whited out!

* * *

"Watch what you're doing, old man!"

"… Shut up."

"Keep this up, and I swear…"

* * *

"SIGH!" boomed Rydia.

* * *

And that was previously, on Zeromus Busters Zee!

And nao for today's episode, a much, more, easy-to-handle episode, where I actually must work harder, due to my mind being more crippld!  
Today, on ZEROMUS BUSTERS ZEE!  
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* * *

The three were on their way to the Antlion Cave. It was a short distance, and very uneventful, due to the fact that monsters and machinery don't mix.

Actually, everything was obscenely uneventful, due to the sheer boringness of the cave, but in my opinion, the baby blue treasure chests were cool enough. And Cecil saw through Edward's music lesson ruse, and accused him of needing to "Get laid, big-time." Edward then said Cecil was a "stupidhead," and started on a long speech of how Cecil and Rydia "Don't understand how I feel!" after that heated argument, the Team ™ finally came to the area where Antlion was.

And now, was the time of the Antlion battle. Here are the spare and dirty details.

Edward was the first one to try to grab the Sand Ruby. The Antlion moved underneath his feet.

"OK, just a little more distance covered…"

* * *

And the Antlion struck.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!11!  
!one!"

screamed Rydia.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!11!  
!one!"

screamed Cecil.

"Worry. Not. Antlion is tame." Edward replied without worry. He then grumbled about how much he hated a coward he checked out, and about how good waffles taste.

* * *

But then, the Antlion struck again!

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!11!  
!one!"

screamed Rydia.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!11!  
!one!"

screamed Cecil.

"For god sakes, just be quiet!" Edward retorted in a very harsh tone. He then scrambled towards to Sand Ruby…

And at the risk of not wanting to sound like a Robert Munsch book, plain and simple, Rydia screamed and pointed to Edward, and he looked down.

* * *

The Antlion was eating his torso! BUM BUM BUUUUM!

Now, with Edward crippled, and with his body and torso split in two, only Cecil and Rydia could fight the beast.

"For Edward's torso!" Cecil cried as a rally cry.

"DAMCYAN'S SATURDAY!" Rydia added.

Battle Scene Nao!  
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* * *

Cecil and Rydia were finally in a proper battle position. Cecil in front, Rydia waiting in back.

Cecil attacked! Antlion used Counter Horn! OWCH!

Rydia called in Chocobo! It did a Chocobop!

The Antlion was entranced by the dances, and left, causing little to no harm!

Cecil, Rydia and the rest won the Battle Scene Nao! They obtained a Pendant of Lutz, 2 Gold Needles, and a free money!  
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* * *

Cecil looked at the pendant, but it burned his hand. Rydia then picked it up, and put it on her neck. They looked to see that Edward had made himself two again. There was so much blood-jelly around, it would have caused the censors to go BEEP BEEP BEEP!. So we cloned him, I guess.

Cecil and Rydia stared at him dumbfounded.

"Who… what… where… why… how… did… you… reform?"

And then, the Almighty Author's voice, the kind that nice animals listen to, boomed through the cave.

"HERE, AND YE YOU MAY HAVE THIS DEVICE!"

Cecil asked, "What is it?"

"A CLONING DEVICE, FILTHY ORAKIAN! IF A LOVED ONE…"

Cecil quickly added, "Not."

Double-A continued. "DIES, THIS MAY BRING HIM OR HER BACK TO LIFE. HOWEVER, ONLY I MAY USE IT. GIVE IT HERE."

Cecil stuttered, "But… I…"

"DOST ONE DARE DEFY THE ALMIGHTY ONE?"

"No sir!" And the threesome gave AA back the Game Genie.

"NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, THERE'S A GIRL TALKING TO ME ON MSN. CHOW."

And the Almighty Author disappeared. Just like that. Everyone was silent for a good long while, until Rydia burst in with,

"GUYS! WE'VE MUST CURE SORA!"

"But you haven't met Sora/Rosa yet? How could you know about her?"

"DUH! CASTING CALL!"

"Oh, I forgot."

And the group returned to the house where Rosa/Sora was situated.

* * *

"Rosa! Where were you on Chapter Two?"

Rosa then woke up and beamed at the team's appearance. "Oh, Cecil. I'm so sorry, but I was sick, and we can't afford stunt doubles. I'm sorry."

Sora then interrupted. "Yeah! Sorry about your FACE!"

"Could you be quiet for once? I'm trying to score here!"

"Yeah. With a 20-year old baby!"

Cecil added, "Who's competent nao!"

"Yeah, but you're still a coward"  
"Don't say that about my Cecil! I'll COUGH COUGH!"

Cecil returned to the talk. "You must rest now."

And then Rosa said, "No! I want to go with you!"

Edward then delivered his first, and hopefully only sincere explanation to Cecil. "She only wants to go with us nao."

"Perhaps you're right. And Rosa, theses are my pals, Eduardo…"

"Edward, please."

"And Rydia. Without them, you would've died."

"HI THERE!"

With Rydia's sheer volume in voice, the house's roof exploded. And the Old Man, the only person in the story who dislikes Rydia, scolded her.

Cecil then made arrangements with his friends. They would stay in the town of Kaipo tonight, and do some other junk tomorrow. Then, our producer arrived.

"Yeah, guys, I have some good news and bad news"  
The group all said in unison, "What are they?"

"Well, the good news is that we're cutting off here, so Edward can skip his scene."

Edward shouted, "WOOHOO!"

"But the bad news is that our budget has been cut again. Take a look at today's check, guys."

Rosa then picked up a check for both personalities to see.

"OK! There's 51 dollars, plus fees, GST, PST, AST, and it all comes down to… nine dollars and fourty-two cents…?"

Rosa's other personality, Sora, piped up, "I AIN'T WORKING FOR TEN BUCKS! GET US OUTTA HERE!"

Edward added, "But we can't, as you guys were forced to do this scene. Said on our contract that if we give him our lifelong servitude, he've give us one piece of candy. Since I read the contract, I get to go free after this."

"YOU MEAN ME, MY GODSHELPUS OTHER SELF, THIS IDIOT, AND THIS CATONIC LITTLE FREAK GAVE UP OUR FREEDOM FOR ONE PIECE OF CANDY!"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"WELL, WHY ARE YA IN IT, WUSSY-BOY?"

"Dental plan."

And the arguments continued.  
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* * *

Yay! Another Chappie done! And it's less contriversal! (Man, my head hurts baaad.)

Stay tuned for Chapter Five: How Many Fingers Do I Have?

Goodbye, peoples, and I'll just figure out if I can solve our budget cuts before Sora turns into Mamiya mode again. We don't want that to happen.


	5. El el! Ole! Ole? Sounds like 'Old'

Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy. 

Chapter 5: Guess How Many Fingers I Have? (A 'The Ringer' reference.)

Author's Note: OK, now that I have a minor grasp of the concept of 'thinking while writing' I finally have a bit of a grasp of what to write.

However, expect a bit of tasteless humour, innuendo, and eccentricity to pop up for no reason, and at the most unexpected or expected of times. Just to let you nay-sayers know. ;)

I firmly believe that should please almost everyone. Note the word 'almost.' Only Louis Armstrong can please everyone. Because his last name is Armstrong.

And also, updates may be a little off, as this is updated at a "whenever I really feel like writing and got some inspiration from a nightmare about NES games" basis.

Today's Chapter shall be dedicated to Katmillia. Due to the KainxRydia fics that I like. And also, this will be dedicated to Konamiman. Because he's so coull. (People who've played Goonies 2 and Wai Wai World should know who he is. And how coull he is. His "I'm not gonna heal you because you hit me!" quote will go down in history as the coullest quote ever.)

And also, for Kamikaze Watermelon from a demented cartoon. I am a fan, and I would like to also kamikaze someday, and explode as well. :3

Also, for those unsure, EVERY SINGLE THING that has happened in the previous chapters can and will be regarded as canon in this story. Yep, even the trysts and orgies from when I was still in 'experimenting' mode. However, the good news is that there will be a bit a turn for the 'better'.

And for those confused, Sora in this story is NOT from Kingdom Hearts, (though I like that game, even though I don't owns it.) but is a split personality complex Rosa has.  
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* * *

Tonight, in the Dev. Room! 

July 16, 2006.

07/16/06

The male devs are looking up porno and smut on the computer. They are complimenting on the great literature and excellent illustrations. The female devs are talking about girl stuff, and having a burping contest, at that. I am watching TV, and Anna is making ramen.

As I wait anxiously for the Futurama/Family guy hour at midnight, Sons of Butcher has gone on TV, as I live in Canada, and S.O.B. is the equivalent of everything overrated on your TVs. Of course, this likely assumes y'all in the USA. And that S.O.B. airs in a very inconvenient hour, or is a Canada-only show. Because most people on the 'net come from USA. Or at least that's what Taboo: The Sixth Sense taught me via an emulator.

Note to Self: Always trust a time machine made in 1988 that tells your fortune, and travels through time simultaneously. And envy the country that bans that show.

Anyway, I cry out, "Oh no! Sons of Butcher is on! Give me suggestions on how to eliminate this threat!"

And then one of our dev. Team, who looks remarkably like Zangief, offers his best line. Ever.

"Quick! Change the channel!"

Then, Anna interjected with, "Nah, I've got a lazier idea."

Ultimately, we ended up blowing up the TV. We have to buy a new one, but we have to do that tomorrow. Saad.

Anyway, we got the Cecil-igos ready for packaging. We're asking the Mach Pizza guys to deliver them. If they've got a mean streak with delivering pizza 'fast,' then they should have no trouble with 3 androids.  
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* * *

Meanwhile, in the land of Kaipo! 

Cecil woke up in his bed that he had for the night. It was so refreshing to finally nap for a good long while. He barely got any sleep since the night before, when Edward attempted to give Cecil 'his lesson.' Cecil barely escaped violated that night, but we made sure that an event like that wouldn't happen again. (Of course, that's what commercial breaks are for.)

However, Cecil's night was a very rude one. Rydia kept on dreaming of that "STUPID BUT STRANGELY ALLURING DRAGON-MAN," and Edward was busy looking at Cecil. No, I take that back. STARING… at Cecil. Plus, Cecil played Suito Homu on the house's Famicom late that night, and freaked out around the last maze when he faced off against the hideous visages of the photo squad. Thank god for that power outage, due to the town having no electricity. Rosa was the only one who slept even remotely normally, and had developed an affinity for sneezing a lot between Chapters 4 and 5. Her personalities were changing every sneeze, and had an immense argument which lasted the entire night.

But Cecil at least slept, and that was the important thing. Even though it only started after Edward got tired of ogling Cecil, and when Rosa stopped her infernal yapping. So that left about 10 minutes. Oh well. A little bit of sleep is better than no sleep at all.

The group packed up, and set off to 'That mountain, what is it called? It's Mount Hobs.'

* * *

As soon as they arrived, Rosa asked if their team had any Fire-spell, or something along those lines. 

"Does any of you have a Fire spell, or something along those lines"  
"Come on! Any of ya gots one?"

Cecil and Edward shook their heads like idiots, but Rydia was crying her eyes out.

Rosa's 'nice' side kicked in, and she naturally asked, "What's is wrong, Rydia?"

And Rydia, being the loud, annoying hatemonger she speaks like, said in an obnoxious tone,

"NO I HATE THE WATER, MUMMY. EGON SPRINKLES HATE THE WATER, MUMMIKINS."

"It's Fire."

"IT'S PHIRE? IT'S MINE!"

And so, with just that little bit of inspiration, Rydia set to firing the ice off the entrance to Mount Hobs.

"PK PHIRE!"

And with that, Rydia unleashed her PK powers, as that's the type of power that was granted to her for some weird raisin.

"Eeyay!" shouted everybody. They wanted to sound like Gabby Jay from Super Punchout. Which is really quite retarded, if you were to ask me.

* * *

And so, the team continued up the mountain, fighting Kamikaze Bombs, 

Duu-duu-duu-du-du-duu!

Kamikaze Bomb crashes into the wall.

"Wheeeeee!"

explodes.

Muffins for those who can guess the reference. Anyway, they also fought, oddly enough, and from a different time period and universe, Kamikaze Watermelons.

Duu-duu-duu-du-du-duu!

Kamikaze Watermelon crashes into the wall.

"Wheeeeee!"

explodes.

And uh…. Kamikaze… Zombies.

Duu-duu-duu-du-du-duu!

Kamikaze Zombie crashes into the wall.

"Wheeeeee!"

explodes.

As you can see, Mount Hobs is a very explosive place.  
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* * *

The group soon reached to top of the mountain, which was called 'Station 7.' I don't know why they don't understand that Mount Hobs and co-op camps are two different places, but I digress. On the top of the hill, they see a Karate Master annoying a giant Mother Kamikaze Watermelon. Their conversation goes something like this. 

"Hi my name's Yang. Guess how many fingers I have."

"…"

"Wrong! I have 8 fingers….. drools…. And 2 thumbs! Hahahahahaha!"

Fireworks for those who can find the reference. The Mother Kamikaze Watermelon decided to do kamikaze, and charged ahead of Yang.

"Wheeeeee!"

It hit the Mach Pizza airplane where the 3 other Cecil-igos for Frieda were being delivered, and they fell into the Chocobo forest...

* * *

About a few minutes later, the three Cecil-igos came to, by being licked in the face, puppy dog style, by the Chocobos. They then engaged in long conversation. 

1st one: "Weee!" (Did you see what hit us?)

2nd one: "Whoo!" (Looked like a Kamikaze Watermelon.)

Duu-duu-duu-du-du-duu!

Kamikaze Watermelon crashes into the wall.

"Wheeeeee!"

explodes.

The third one said it was pointless, but liked the watermelon, but in the very small language of the Cecil-igos, it came out as,

"W00t! Pwnage! Lol!"

The three Cecil-igos then continued their adventure by leaving the god-forsaken Chocobo forest with watermelon residue. Dancing the tango, while they're at it, I say!

* * *

Meanwhile, at Mount Hobs… 

Real Cecil and co. are meeting the weird karate man who has 8 fingers and 2 thumbs. Everyone has to have 10 fingers, I say! Or do we really have 8 fingers? Come to think of it, how did we get fingers? But I guess I'll bore you all off another time, you already know I've got problems.

Anyhoo, Cecil started off their conversation with Yangy-man with this,

"Wait! We have 10 fingers!"

But Yangy-o replied with,

"Nope…! It's… 8 fingers! Even count!"

"Okay! 1, 2, 3, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera." (A la the King of Siam, I say!)

Rosa, Rydia and the rest looked on in speculation, as each commented on their own.

Rosa first said up, "I think those two are going to be good pals for a long while."

Rydia then added, "IT'S HIGH TIME FOR THE SPOTLITE!"

Edward then swooned, with a breathless "LAND SAKES!" and crooned about not only having 1 muscly male on the squad, but 2! He could just die…

* * *

Hi-munk Yangy hast join-ned the purty! His Intellect isn't so hot, but who needs Intellect when you have Craws! Er… Claws! And mussels! 

Rydia then popped up for a final yelling session.:1

"WHERE BE THE BLUE MAN! I WANNA THE BLUE MAN!"

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* * *

A-ha! I've added a sub-plot! An interesting one, at that, I say! 

What will Cecil and co. do in Fabul? A mystic city I didn't mention in the main fic due to my abysmal laziness?  
Will the Blue Man return for Rydia?  
Is it just me, or is Rosa gaining control over her emotions?  
Will our developers stop being such lazy jackasses and start with the programming?  
Will Edward ever find true love?  
Will the Three More Cecil-igos find their way to Frieda Right's house?  
Will Sons of Butcher start making good episodes without more tastelessness than my failed attempts of writing?  
Will Suito Homu stop giving all of us nightmares from those 8-bit zombies and clones?

Find out these answers (And a whole lot of extra crap!) in the next issues of

ZEROMUS BUSTERS!1

P.S. It took me three days to write this. And about a good long while to come up with everything, as well as making stuff along. SO BE DAYAM GRACEFUL! Rydia will say, she will.

And as you can plainly see, I'm completely unafraid of commenting on Canadian TV in public. :3


	6. A Fabulous Fabul

Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy. 

Chapter 6. The Long, Boring Battles.

Note: I apologize for the delay, but I only write when I get some inspiration, and when I have time. And let me tell you, trying to add more material to an already boring but quick-to-the-point scene is hard! Very hard! So be grateful I'm working my hardest at writing! Also, I have a life as well. There's Gamefaqs boards to post on, things to do, and Youtubes to watch. Plus, I'm working on another RPG as well, (Pokemon FireRed, to the exact.) and have less time to update. So be patient for the future, kupo?

Today's Chapter shall be dedicated to Daniel Weasly Rydell. Hmm. Sounds like a Potterfreak. I can just tell from the 'Weasly', and the 'Daniel.' Was there a character named Daniel in Harry Potter?

Today's Chapter shall also be dedicated to those people at the FFIV Advance boards at GameFaqs. Thank you all for helping me with my only reference for this forgotten gem! (The 'current gem' spots were taken from FFVII onwards. Boo Cloud! Yay Cecil!")

No one hate me.

Disclaimer: FF4 not mine.  
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Tonight, in the dev. Room!

We are watching a few J-Horror movies right now. Except me. I prefer to be lazy while the others are watching The Ring. I'm reading the reviews you kind people have wasted your life writing.

"And I, with my ungodly powers, as the ALMIGHTY AUTHOR, shall bless the world with a new chapter! That's tasteless, but not too tasteless!"

thinks for a moment

"And spunky!"

And so thus, I press 'Fast-Forward' to skip that boring part before and around when the team gets to Fabul. As it's boring, uninspired, and doesn't really get to the gewd stuff.

Cecil: "We're back, Paisanos"  
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Cecil and company were finally done exploring Fabul, which was by far the biggest city in the world, even if it just was a castle where the citizens lived in towers similar to apartments, only there was no privacy, as people could go up and down floors as they liked and could see the monks when they're on their break time. A miserable existence, eh?

Then, they arrived at the armour and weapon store. They, rather, sold NO armour, and a lacking amount of weapons. Fortunately, the clerk allowed Cecil to take the armour that was on display.

And finally, the stores. They sold nothing necessary, like food, drink, and toiletries, but just boring old crap like Potions and Pheonix Downs. Ultimately, no one decided to buy anything. They didn't even have at the very least… Clothes? How embarrassing that Fabul, despite its godly power, is essentially a colony of nudists in a primative setting.

Yang learned from his wife, Kagura, (Get a w00p for guessing the indirect reference.) that King Burger King wanted Yang's assistance, since he was their best fighter. Sad.

So, they went to King Burger King's throne room. Yang talked to his master.

"Hay I work at burger king."

(murderous breathing)

"Ya want fries with that?"

(murderous breathing)

Edward came up to speak with the King as well.

"Excuse me, my liege. Are you saying that we should guard Fabul from the invasion, which is indirectly what Yang said?"

(murderous breathing)

"Very well. We shall start our attack, or rather, defensive measures. Come my friends! We shall meet in the barracks for a strategy meeting now!"

Edward led Cecil and Yang to the barracks, but was stopped by Rosa. Or rather, she sneezed and turned evil again.

"Oh no ya don't! Cecil isn't falling for that again!"

Rydia joined the protest.

"I AM EGON SPRINKLES! I AM EGON SPRINKLES!"

Then, Edward gave up, but not before crying, and telling Rosa and Rydia and Yang and the rest that 'they don't understand!' and 'It's perfectly okay to be different!' before crying to his room and eating a huge bowl a peanuts.

…

I'm gonna make him allergic to peanuts.

So that he dies.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cecil and Yang set up at Fabul's front, preparing for attack. The forces from Baron started to charge at the front of the castle, and Cecil, Yang, and the other incompetent monks prepared to defend it.

Battle Scene Nao!  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cecil and Yang started their desperate fight against the Baron soldiers. Cecil ran away.

"AAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Cecil screamed, as he wrecked another good chunk of Fabul's walls.

"YANG! HEAD FOR THE HILLS! THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM!"

However, Yang failed to heed this warning, and fought the Soldiers by himself. It was easier that way.

Yang then fought the other creatures by himself, but it seemed there was an infinite amount. He had to retreat to the Crystal room, where Cecil was keeping shelter, and where Edward was crying.

The Blue Dragoon came into the Crystal Room.

"Salutations."

Cecil came up.

"KYNE! Oh, I'm so glad to see you again! Yang was the only one fighting so far, and we were losing."

"Ready your swored."

"Isn't the W silent"

"Ready your swored, fool!"

Battle scene nao!  
-  
Kain jumped. Cecil took damage of 130!

"Kyne… why are you doing this? You always didn't hold back on those other times!"

Kain, taking this as an invitation to actually kill Cecil. Which was something he couldn't do at Baron, due to the inventions of 'laws', and such. So he jumped.

Cecil took damage of 4560! Cecil died! Cecil paid 1750 gil as a reward!

Cecil whited out!  
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Cecil fell in pain.

"Why are ye doing this"

Then, a blue coloured wizard in a suit and purple dungarees came into the room.

Now, I haven't done a background music since Chapter 3, so we're having it be…. Uh…. Sk8r Boi. Bad for me, good for Lavigne fans, bad for everyone else. (Make that bad for everyone except 7 people.)

"Hello!" (Hello! Hello! Hello! Echos!)

Cecil was barely hanging onto life.

"Who are you?"

The wizard chuckled.

And I decided the music was far too torturous for you readers to endure. But, since I'm a vengeful Almighty Author, and the song is about twice as evil, it's staying.

"I am the dark wizard… GOLBEZ!"

"Sounds like a name ripped from the Addams family."

"SHUT UP!"

Edward and Yang stood up. Were they standing up before? I don't remember.

"Stop!" They both yelled, simultaneously.

"Shut up, dotards!"

And with that, the Dark Addams Family Fan, Golbez, fired an electric bolt at the Yangmeister, and the odd singer, and knocked both unconscious. Much to Edward's complaint, they were not together when they fell. Yang fell to the left, Eddy to the right.

"Kyne, get the Crystal, before we miss today's King Koopa's Krazy Kartoons again! Today, we're getting some fresh from 1931 today! And you know what happens if we miss them..."

Kain remembered what happened.

Flashbaque nao!  
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In the flashback, Golbez is beating Kain up in the locker rooms.

SMASH. SMASH. SMASH.

Golbez's punches were quite painful, and he forced Kain to sit through such televised abortions, like Tru Confessions, which Kyne hated due to a lack of a title, and its incest overtones.

Golbez watched Kain watch a scene from the movie, in which Tru shows how much she loves her sibling by staring at him. Golbez was shouting.

"You love your siblings! You love your siblings!"

And Kain retorted with,

"No I do not! Ow! Stop it"  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, as Kain remembered his ordeal, and the ordeal of the two new additions, he heard the voice of his hopefully, future slave and/or harem girl.

"Stop!" Rosa yelled. Then, she sneezed.

"Be quiet! Don'tcha wanna get caught?"

Rydia just stared. Her Blue Man had returned for her! She ran up to him.

"BULE MAN!"

Kain just had to look at Rosa, and kick the snivelling Rydia away. Rydia then continued to snivel.

"ROSA! IT'S TOO DANGEROUS TO DO THIS!" Cecil burst out.

Golbez noticed the girl. "So, this wench is of value to you? How much?"

Cecil was quick to make a bargain. "Fifty dollars."

"Deal."

Golbez took Rosa away, completely 'forgetting' about the fifty dollars. Rosa simply sneezed and yelled for the brainless slobs that she called a team to help her.

"(ah) HELP!"

The brainless slobs that she called a team just stared into space.

After a few minutes, Cecil finally realized Rosa was gone. The team cried, and went to the inn to cry out their sorrows and rest from the fight. Yang offered to give the team a floating boat for tomorrow, (However, he pronounced it 'but.') that made the team happy.

Anyway, after getting a sword from King Burger King, the team went on aforementioned boat. There were a few stowaways, though.

About a good hour or so before Cecil and co. went onto the sailing device, the three Cecil-igoes smuggled on and hid in the brig. They then engaged in a strategy talking.

"Woohoo!" Cecil-igo numero uno said. He was asking what could be done.

"Wee-oh! Wee-oh!" The second one said. He meant, "I dunno."

The third one tried to come up with a plan, but since he spoke in leet speak, which normal Cecil-igoes don't understand. He actually meant that they could try to take a plane over to Frieda's house, but it only came out as,

"LOL!1!one!11"

An hour after the Cecil-igoes hid, the real Cecil, the real Rydia, and the rest came on as well. After a few offensive tones of English accent, the boat went on to sail in the sea! Yay!  
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Hmm. I've left it here. As you can see, the Cecil-igoes are continuing their journey. And so are the real party.

I have not much else to say. Other than I hate Shia Laboeuf. I also hate Avril Lavigne. And there's nothing you can do about it.


	7. A Shorter Chapter to Stall on

Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy. 

Chapter 7. Today I'm cutting it short this time, because of a lack of privacy in my house.

UPDATE: I'm pretty much done playing Pokemon FireRed. Only a little bit more junk to do and I can restart again. Whee! I like restarting! Anywho, I'm also getting things started for way-overdue fiction about the What About Mimi series. Which only Early Bird Canadians, perhaps British preteen schoolgirls, and few Americans with satellite watch. Which is weird, since I'm not female, nor American. :S But still, if I was American, I could do this! "SONIC-BOOM!"

(Does a Sonic Boom a la Guile from Street Fighter 2)

But I'm not American, I'm Canadian. I made that clear in most of my chapters, korekt?

So, seeing as I'm working on this fiction, and a few oneshots and another series here and there, might mean less time to update. But it probably won't be too much different from before. As I said, I only write when inspiration hits. Now, Cecil, would you please.

Cecil then said, "We're back again, Paisanos"  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* * *

The Boat was sailing in the sea. Everyone was talking random junk except for Edward. He was depressed that no one understood about his respectful 'Damcyani Traditions.' Rydia went by to ask what was wrong.

"SUPER FAMICOM! MEGA DRIVE!" She yelled.

Edward still said nothing. He was never able to understand women after all this time. Rydia then yelled, trying to comfort him,

"STUDIO B AND COMFORT FOOD! EGON SPRINKLES AM I!"

Edward finally responded. "No, his name is Egon Spengler."

"Sows like spanklees." Yang interrupted.

* * *

The boat continued sailing along the road. Or was it sea.

A giant white tentacle came up. "WOOOOoooOOO!" Yelled the Giant Tentacle.

The sailors then came to the front of the boat, which they called the 'Port', and offered their questions to what the heck it was. One said "The Lord of the sea!" And so did the others.

The Cecil-igos came up from their hiding spot, and gasped at the sight in front of the boat. They yelled, in unison, I may add,

"Whee!" (It's Leviathan!)

Leviathan then began rocking the boat, and Rydia fell over, all the while yelling "OH NOES A MONSTER!"

"Reada!" Cecil yelled.

Yang then dove headfirst to save her, because he didn't really have anything better to do.  
"Wee!"

"Yin!" Cecil cried.

Edward, being bored and all, had decided to jump overboard at his own free will. Edward argued against this,

"Wait! I don't wanna…"

But I cut him off there, as I sent him o'er to'rds the beauteous land of Troy, Troia, or whatever stupid name I come up with.

"Edd!" Cecil whined.

As the ship came down, Cecil only found time for his last words…

"YOU ALL SUUUUUCCCCKK!" (SPRASH!)

The Cecil-igos also ended up having a horrific fate, as they were sent overboard as well, but they locked on to the strongest target, which was Real Cecil, and swimmed after him, as they were not knocked unconscious.

They were headed to the magical land of Mysidia.

* * *

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hoorah! Everybody dies! Wait, Cecil doesn't die? Well, damn.  
Anyway, things are a little shorter today. Hope you don't mind, I starting another fic like I mentioned earlier.  
But still, Zeromus Busters will be continuing!


	8. Feminine jumbies? Whodathunkit

Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy.

Chapter 8: Killing ensues much.

Today's chappy is dedicated to Driftwood425. He was the one who made this fic famous in the FFIV Advance boards, anyway.

NOTE: Scarmiglone shall be female.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cecil eventually managed to wake up in the Mysidian beaches. His eyes felt like they were taped shut and his stomach felt that there was a party in it and everyone was throwing up. He had this indistinct urge to call everyone on the Blue Planet 'big fat idiots.'

But he didn't. Rather, he woke up, and found the Ceci-igos, staring at him, like he was their god or something. Cecil, having a normal childlike brain, screamed and ran off.

Cecil eventually ended up at a town filled with Black Mages and White Mages. They were all angry at him.

"How about I turn you into a toad for being mean!" "TOAD!"

"How about I give you an alluring dance, huh, sweetums?" "PIG!"

"Here, have a drink." "GAG!" "Ah-haha! The drink was filled with poison! Die, you STUUPID and GULLABLE KNIGHT!"

Cecil, scared, runs into the Mysidian City Hall area place. Which is at the center of town.

Now, it's been a while since I've had background music now. Today, it's 'Akachan wa Dokokara Kuruno' since Rub Rabbits have made that song vely addicting.. Plus, it would be good in the following montage, que?

Cecil talks to elder. They talk of stuff involving justice, etc. Elder calls in the two mages. Music shall abruptly stop. Where do babies come from?

"Palm! Porm!"

Porom burst into the room.

"What is this about pixelated women than you wanted me to see…?"

Elder started his talks.

"Bring in Palom. Where he go, Saddler?"

"Probably gone off to kill some kamikaze bombs…"

Duu-duu-duu-duu-DUU!

"Whee!"

(explodes)

"…again."

Then, Jim the Explorer popped in for no reason.

"I'm Jim the Explorer!"

Crickets: PEEP! PEEP!

Everyone just stared for a few minutes before the Elder finally stopped the unexpected cameo.

"Get out. This is for Squeenix, not Sunsoft. Besides, you already appeared earlier in the story, in your own game."

"Okay."

Jim then threw dynamite into Porom's room, making a door appear, that he went through, going to AREA 67.

Elder then started conversation again.

"Palm! Appear, or I'll call on Saddler again."

"My name is POROM. Not Saddler!"

Their crys were met with the casting of a smook spell.

"Haha! It is me! Palom! The best mage of the three!"

After getting bearings straight, Cecil, and the two mages started on their quest for great justice. Take off every zig! Their Mystery Adventure Start…  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The three eventually made it to Mount Ordeals. Or, Mt. Orjels. They were surrounded by a wall of fire. A WALL OF FIRE, DAMMIT! DUN DUN DUUUUUN!

Porom then tried to think of something, but it got cut off by incessant whining.

"Oh my gawd! How are we gonna get through this wall of phire?"

Palom then actually thought of something. Porom then became incessantly whiny, so he made a smart remark to her.

"Yeah, yeah, keep your pants on."

"Of course I'm keeping my pants on! Are you incest or something?"

"Ya wanna go there?"

"STOP!" A booming voice shouted. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE DO TO SUCH CONTREVERSAL DUDES?"

Palom was unafraid. "What?"

The Almighty Author then replied, nonchalantly, "We kill them. So don't be any stupid!"

Palom got the message, cast Blizzard on the phire wall, and continued up the mount without a peep.  
-  
Meanwhile, in the Golbez Lair-House-esque-thingy

Golbez is watching Cecil's trek through the mountain, along with his equally incompetent comrades.

"Mufufufu… Cecil will never be alive with his poor choice of comrades. Scarmiglone! Come For!"

The lord of the death came into the room.

"Nyesssss ssssssirrrr… Whaaaat doya waaaant…"

"Kill Cecil and bring me his head!"

"Nyesssss ssssssirrr…"

Scarmiglone disappeared. Conversation ends there.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cecil and pals continued to plod up the hill. They went through the first mountain door, and guess who they saw…?

Oh no! It was Tellah!

"Oh no!" Cecil screamed.

"Oh no!" The Twin Mages screamed.

"Oh no!" the reviewers screamed.

"QUICK! SOMETHING IS TO BE DONE!" The Almighty Author floated down from his omniscience and quickly attacked Tellah, replacing him with a better, new and improved one.

"AND I DUE THEE, TELLAH, 90210!"

The Almighty Author left his presence from Mount Ordeals, and the group inched closer to the newer version of Tellah. He looked just like his old self.

"Well! Come on! Golbez isn't just gonna up and kill himself."

Palom then asked a stupid question on who Golbez was, Porom scolded him, and the adventure continued.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cecil and co. went through the next mountain door, picking up 2 Ethers. FTW.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then, the gang went to the top of the mountain. They then heard this weird humming noise.

"Sssssssssssssrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…"

Porom was quick to accuse.

"Palom!"

"Sorry."

Then, the noise happened again.

"Sssssssssssssrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…"

"Palom!"

"Sorry."

And again!

"Sssssssssssssrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…"

"Palom!"

"It's not me this time!"

And Palom was right. Just as they finished the conversation, a hooded thing popped out in front of them!

"Sssssssssssssrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… I am to be of the killing of you all. Hand your cash in to me, then give lady for mine to whet my want for such…"

Porom then pushed her way to the front.

"No! I'll never be a slave to you! Peh!" she spit.

"O..kee…. How about you give me the night…. I'll tell Golbezzz not to kill himmmm… He shall be my…. Concubine…..

Cecil was shocked.

"I am most certainly not of the liking of undead ladies."

"Then you die-eeng shall be of suckinesssss…."

Battle scene nao!  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scarmilgone was surrounded by 4 Revenants. Palom and Porom cast Twin, and Tellah with Cecil went offensive. Tellah cast Fire repeatedly on the enemies, and Cecil did some dirty sword-dancing with Scarmy. In the end, though, she was killed before Twin was cast, even.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cecil and his friends were really confident after that battle. They started to walk across the bridge again.

"CECIL!"

Cecil stopped to look at the Almighty Author. "What?"

"It's a traa….! (Static)"

Cecil simply shrugged it off. "Must have meant a track place here."

They continued across the bridge, until they sensed an evil presence behind them.

"Cecil! How dare you lack the desire to wine and dine with me! For that, you shall PAY!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I apologize profusely for the long delay. I only got my last ideas today. Anyway, this should hold you guys off until I release CHAPTER 9: BRAINS OVER BRAWNS. Toodels! 


	9. The Less Than Triumphant Return!

Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy. 

Chapter 9: My laziness shows here.

NOTE: After some lazy e-mail checking, and finding that the people miss this story already, I'll tell you what I can for now.

Inspiration is slowly coming towards me, just I'm always too lazy to put it to good use. Nonetheless, Zeromus Busters is back. And despite what the rumours (if there are any) say, I will not quit! Yet! Anyway, where were we...?

Ah, here we are.

I then go over, dust off some stuff, and return to the place in the story.

Oh, and also, the production studio died. Yeah. So, you guys just imagine whatever the story is as I recite it.

A-kem.

--------------------------------------------------

Cecil then piped up, "Hurry up, Authorman, we've been waiting in the middle of a step for THREE FREAKIN' MONTHS NOW!"

Ah, it was worth it to have you fans wait to write that line.

Anywho, Scarmy shows up, again, from the grave. The climatic battle is starting, and I just typed this out really, really badly. :P

Slowly, the lordess of the deadness streaks, (AH! It's supposed to be a stalker!) er, stalks the party. Slowly, in daytime.  
She tries to be stealthy, but everyone can see the zombie! What a fool!

Now, I drabble off to talk about peaches, drawing, and candles.

After the drabble, Scarmiglone is about to strike, until Cecil finally manages to use... Ninja sense... yeah... and SEES HIS ENEMY! RAH!

"RAWR!" Yelled the cloak-ed figure. However, Cecil remained calm.

---------------------------------------------------

BATTLE SCENE NAO!

The Battle Screen came up again. This time, it was an AMBUSH, as Scarmiglone was on.. the...

(Allow me to check my hand.  
OK, L is left, other is Right.)

... Right side.

Scarmiglone then started talking about something.

"Fools..."

Cecil replied. "Yes?"

"You cannot kill, what is undead."

"Yeah, but if you're undead, how are you still alive?"

"My body is here, but the soul is out!"

"OK, so how are you still talking and stuff?"

"Uhm... uh... oh, bollocks."

Scarmiglone then disappeared.

Cecil than did a victory cry of,

"Ha! Ha! We killed one of the Elemental Lo-Ords! Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah!"

Very immature, but I did have that line planned out like 6 months ago.

--------------------------------------------------

Anyway, Cecil and the rest went up to the statue. No one else in the party is talking because they're not important.

And now, a brick just got thrown at my head. However, it was a pixel brick, and therefore, didn't have any effect.

Cecil went up to the statue.

"My son."

Cecil looked scared. "WAAH! WAS THAT A GHOST! OR A BOGEYMAN!"

As always, Cecil crapped his armour again. Because I like to be mean.

Anyway, some other talk happened, and Cecil became a Paladin, and got a sword. However, there was something...

IN THE MIRROR!

IT'S A GHOST!

WAAH!

The new Paladin proclaimecd bravely, "STAND BACK! I SHALL PROVE MYSELF!"

-  
BATTLE SCENE NAO!

Cecil and the reflection, which appeared to be a Dark Knight, stood across from each other, facing each other, in a staring contest. Staring, just staring.

"A true paladin will sheath his sword."

The Dark Knight then shot a BoltBeam of energy at Paladin Cecil. Cecil got hit.

"Well, two can play that game!"

And Cecil shot another BoltBeam at the reflection.

"A true paladin will sheath his sword."

The Dark Knight then shot a BoltBeam of energy at Paladin Cecil. Cecil got hit.

"Well, two can play that game!"

And Cecil shot another BoltBeam at the reflection.

"A true paladin will sheath his sword."

The Dark Knight then shot a BoltBeam of energy at Paladin Cecil. Cecil got hit.

"Well, two can play that game!"

And Cecil shot another BoltBeam at the reflection.

"A true paladin will sheath his sword."

The Dark Knight then shot a BoltBeam of energy at Paladin Cecil. Cecil got hit.

"Well, two can play that game!"

And Cecil shot another BoltBeam at the reflection.

"A true paladin will sheath his sword."

The Dark Knight then shot a BoltBeam of energy at Paladin Cecil. Cecil got hit.

"Well, two can play that game!"

And Cecil shot another BoltBeam at the reflection.

"A true paladin will sheath his sword."

The Dark Knight then shot a BoltBeam of energy at Paladin Cecil. Cecil got hit.

"Well, two can play that game!"

And Cecil shot another BoltBeam at the reflection.

"A true paladin will sheath his sword."

The Dark Knight then shot a BoltBeam of energy at Paladin Cecil. Cecil got hit.

"Well, two can play that game!"

And Cecil shot another BoltBeam at the reflection.

And Cecil finally died.

"A true Paladin will sheath his sword.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Cecil's dead, Golbez will take over the world, and everyone else shall perish! BWAHAHA!

Bah, I hate to leave you all hanging right here.

Well, might as well restart..

So long, everyone...

BUT! This ain't over! We still gots a save at the mountain! Bwaha! That means we can just continue from there! Bwaha! Now, next chapter, 'cause I need a rest. Hopefully, this chappie will prevent you all from throwing full wine bottles at my door.


	10. Incompetence is Bliss

Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy. 

Chapter 10. Laziness versus Thought.

or...

Cecil just don't get it!

or...

The Chapter that is much more focused on the Cecil-igoes.

* * *

OK, let's get back to the game thing-gummy.

Ah, here we are.

"Cecil went up to the statue.

"My son."

Cecil looked scared. "WAAH! WAS THAT A GHOST! OR A BOGEYMAN!"

As always, Cecil crapped his armour again. Because I like to be mean.

Anyway, some other talk happened, and Cecil became a Paladin, and got a sword. However, there was something...

IN THE MIRROR!

IT'S A GHOST!

WAAH!

The new Paladin proclaimecd bravely, "STAND BACK! I SHALL PROVE MYSELF!"

* * *

BATTLE SCENE NAO! 

Cecil and the reflection, which appeared to be a Dark Knight, stood across from each other, facing each other, in a staring contest. Staring, just staring.

"A true paladin will sheath his sword."

The Dark Knight then shot a BoltBeam of energy at Paladin Cecil. Cecil got hit.

"Well, two can play that game!"

And Cecil shot another BoltBeam at the reflection.

"A true paladin will sheath his sword."

The Dark Knight then shot a BoltBeam of energy at Paladin Cecil. Cecil got hit.

"Well, two can play that game!"

And Cecil shot another BoltBeam at the reflection.

"A true paladin will sheath his sword."

The Dark Knight then shot a BoltBeam of energy at Paladin Cecil. Cecil got hit.

"Well, two..."

Well, you get the picture. Cecil just don't get it!

* * *

55 'The Party Perished.'s later...

"A true paladin will sheath his sword."

The Dark Knight then shot a BoltBeam of energy at Paladin Cecil. Cecil got hit.

"Well, two can play that game!"

And Cecil shot another BoltBeam at the reflection.

And Cecil finally died.

* * *

72 'The Party Perished.'s later...

"A true paladin will sheath his sword."

The Dark Knight then shot a BoltBeam of energy at Paladin Cecil. Cecil got hit.

"Well, two can play that game!"

And Cecil shot another BoltBeam at the reflection.

And Cecil finally died.

* * *

99 'The Party Perished.'s later...

"A true paladin will sheath.. oh, fugeddaboutit!"

And so, the Dark Illusion finally managed to disappear, and Cecil finally won! Yay!

And so, Cecil became a Paladin, Tellah managed to remember his spells and forget everything else, and the Twins managed to become less important! Everybody wins!

Then, a mob and Palom fans and Porom fans proceed to bust down my door and use their muscles to beat me app!

Palom, read a book!

I've been a fan of Porom since I was... two years old.

There. The mobs are happy.

Now, let's a go on with a story!

* * *

But first, let's take a look at where the REAL heroes of this story are.

You all know who I'm talking about. (Especially j00, PRIVATE and Freida Right.)

And no, it's not Golbez.

The Cecil'igoes proceeded to rush upwards up the mountain, just as Cecil and co. exited the statue thing, how they could do that, I dunno. The two both rushed into each other, like poorly animated cartoon episode thing.

Oof!

They both yelled. After both sides came to, Cecil finally managed to see what those blasted things doing random stuff were.  
"Who are you?" He asked.

"DYA!" dyaed the Cecil'igoes, and they samba-ed down the mountain, reaching the Chocobo forest in time, and running off with the LAAAASST Chocobo in the forest. They taunted the main party when they saw them, still on the top of the mount.

"So long, SUUUUUUUUUCKERRRRRRRRRS!" Yelled the Cecil-igoes in what hopefully would be their first and last spot of English.

Soon, the Cecil-igoes managed to get far away from the area the 'heros' were in. The good news was that they were still gone from human eyes until they managed to get to Freida's house. The bad news was that they ended up in... uh... Kanto.

* * *

FireRed searched through the grass of the Cycling Route, trying desperately to get that Pokemon he wanted. He was about to give up, when suddenly...

BATTLE SCENE NAO!

The Cecil-igoes cried out a call that sounded distinctly like a bird. Along with the Chocobo, the illusion was complete.  
FireRed just knew that he had found, the POKEMON of POKEMON that is not named KOFFING!

DODRIO!

FireRed checked his bag, but there was only the Master Ball he recieved when he saved Silph Co. He had no other Pokeballs, though, and even though the ability to catch a Legendary was tempting, he just couldn't resist getting a Dodrio.

POKEBALL! GO! (It's a Master Ball, dingus.)

"AHHH!" The Cecil-igoes then screamed like chickens before being captured. The ball then started to move.

tchk. 

"One..."

tchk. 

"Two..."

tchk. 

"Three..."

F-chk. 

"YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! I CAUGHT IT! WAHOO!"

And that was the scene. Just seconds before the Chocobo broke out of the ball, and ran away, Cecil-igoes laughing while FireRed bawled like a little BAY-BEE! HAHAHAHAHA!

Soon enough, the Cecil-igoes ended up in Baron, somehow, and were so charmed by the city that they decided to stay in it while waiting for the story to continue.

* * *

OK, I accomplished my goal of making a new chapter this week. Awesome! Good for me, good for j00. Now stay, drink, and be happy 

til I pull another set of ideas outta me. :P


	11. The Chapter between Chapters 10 and 12

Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy. 

Chapter 11. To Mysididy, and Baron-d!

or

Ha-ha-ha, the above was a witty title for once.

or

The Cecil-igoes get into hot water.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Today's first part of the chapter was written by me earlier today, on October 3-ish. Funny story, because I was going to buy some tickets for my high-school's Senior Girls Basketball game, but some person took the last ticket before I could get it. So, I bought a Coca-Cola to vent. Best $1.50 I ever spent. I did have to stay in a different class during the game, but that did give me the inspiration to write more. The Loser's Cube premieres in this installment, which came from that class, which was sort of like a detention, only I wasn't in trouble, just I blew 2 dollars on a Coke.  
Bah, enough of my life this time. On with the ficcy!

AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: I wrote the ending for the fiction as well today. It's a sappy thing with a sappy character, and looks thrown together, but hey, I can still work at it. Who knows, I might just leave that idea and try another thing, like I did for about a good 89 of the story.

AUTHOR'S NOTE 3: OK, I'll stop now.

* * *

The team finally managed to come down Mt. Ordeals. Of course, after fighting a few sets of 20 Skeletons, 5 Zombies, 13 Revenants, 10 Bloodbones, 16 Spirits, and the occasional Lilith. Cecil, despite becoming a Paladin, had still kept his superpower to be as pathetic as he was back in Chapter 1 still prevailed, because I still like to be mean. He died several times. Better Tellah reprimanded him by complaining like a boneless saggy rageddyman. Good thing that I busted out the Game Genie to prevent him from dying.

And that was the scene. Then, I picked up a Loser's Cube (tm) from a nearby recycling bin, and threw it at Cecil for keeping his patheticness.

Nobody protest. Not one of you DARE protest!

* * *

Soon, everyone came back to Mysidia. Except the Cecil-igoes, because they passed that part and are waiting in Baron because of their uber-ness. (I pronounce it 'yoo-ber-ness.' Is that the wrong way to say it?)

Cecil-igoes: "Haha, we R 00br." (Now they say it 'ooh-ber.')

Then, the team talked to the elder, they did a good job, blah blah blah, etc, etc, you did a good job, Tellah, don't make an ass outta yourself, blah blah blah, Porom wanna go wit Cecil, Palom bored, blah blah blah.

And so, the went to a place with a circle in it.

Finally, Porom and Palom get lines.

"Hehehe. Hey sis, why is this a Devil's Road if it's only a hole? Hehehe." Palom inquired.

"It's not a hole, you stupid ahss, it's a mystical warp of frenzy." Porom tried to explain without losing her temper.

Incidentally, I envision that she sounds like Hermione from those Harry Potter movies.

"O...K... so it's a warp hole?"

"ARRRGH!"

Better Tellah started his line. "It IS a warp hole, Porom, you scoundrel."

"(A slightly less audible) Argh."

So, the team entered the Devil's Road...

"WARP HOLE!"

.. Sorry. The team entered the (uh)Devil's Warp Hole, and went to Baron somehow.

Then, everyone except Cecil became whiny.

So, they went to Baron's Inn.

There, Yang attacked them.

There really isn't much more to say.

But...

* * *

OK, kids! Gather round! Are you ready!

(Yay!)

Are you sure you're ready!

(Yeah!)

1... 2... 3...

* * *

BATTLE SCENE NAO!

Cecil and the group got a head-start in the fight. Cecil slashes with his sword.

(The sword hits Yang.)

Ooh! That's gotta leave a mark! Wait, Yang's preparing the counterstrike!

(KIIIICK!)

Ah! Everyone got hit hard by that blow! Especially Porom, god bless her. Wait, wait, wait, what's she doing?

(Porom casts Cure on party.)

Yes! She's gone and helped out the group! Hmm? What's this? Aw! Palom and Tellah are starting up a Double Attack! They're casting, they're going!

(Tellah and Palom cast Blizzaga and Thundaga simultaneously.)

Ooh! That's gonna hurt! Wait, Yang's gonna hit again!

"DIE!" yelled Yang.

(KIIIICK!)

Wow! That's smarts! And the mages are gone! It's up to Cecil, now!

Cecil then said the name of his attack. "Sword hit!"

Cecil dealt a grand total of 49 damage.

"Ugh..." Yang sputtered.

And it's over! Yang loses! Cecil wins! Cecil's the grand champion of the Baron Inn tourney! There'll be no celebration in the Yangdome, that's for sure! But HOW COULD A SWORD THAT PATHETIC WHAT CECIL HAS BEAT OUT A POWERFUL WARRIORS? NOONE EVER KNOW!

BATTLE SCENE END!

* * *

Yang soon regained consciousness. He woke up and immediately recognized Cecil. But how exactly could he recognize Cecil? I mean, Cecil was still wearing his armour a lot, did he ever remove it? I dunno.

"Cecil, where am I?"

And soon, the team explained that Yang got amnesia, etc, etc, bad, bad, bad, etc, etc, I'm lazy, etc. They got a Baron key.

* * *

The next morning...

The Cecil-igoes were staying at the inn. Everyone else was asleep, except for Cecil, who was out in the night for some reason, and aforenmentioned Cecil-igoes. It was 3:30 in the morning, and Cecil was groggy. The Cecil-igoes samba-ed out to check out of the inn to dance the night away.

Cecil-igo #1 passed Cecil, doing the tango by himself. "Yo, Cecil." Cecil replied.

Cecil-igo #2 passed Cecil, doing pirouettes by himself. "Yo, Cecil." Cecil again replied.

Cecil-igo #3 passed Cecil, doing the daaaannnce of sloooow moootttionnnn. "Stop moving so fast, Cecil." Cecil said.

Cecil then went to bed and rested, while the Cecil-igoes danced the night away.

First, the Cecil-igoes decided to have some fun. They went and locked the doors of the weapon and armour shop.

"But please! We need food!" Yelled the weapon seller.

"And water!" Cried the armour seller.

But the Cecil-igoes locked them in anyway.

But since I don't want to make the Cecil-igoes too evil, it was only for a good long hour. Then, they released the vendors.  
cackling madly as they did so.

Then, the Baron Guard caught up to them.

A particularly big Baron Guard stopped the threesome, and asked them about the vendor thing. At 4AM.

"What, may I ask, were you doing with the vendors."

Cecil-igo #1 looked in both directions, and said his second instance of English.

"Get'im, boys! And have them give up sponge baths!"

"SPONGE BATHS! NOOO! And there's only one of me!"

"I don't care." Said the first Cecil-igo in his third English phrase.

And so, they got free sponge baths. Then, they returned to the inn, and slept, waiting for the next chapter to start.

* * *

Why do I feel hollow inside? I laughed when Zorc said he slaughtered millions, but feel sorry when I made the soldier give the Cecil-igoes sponge baths. Does that make me a bad person?

Nonetheless, stay tuned for Chapter 12. A Title Relating to the Next Part of the Story!


End file.
